This is not the question and yet for so many so often, it is the occupier of our thoughts, the demander of our attention. Life can be lived in one of two states. Feeling side out or feeling side in.
If we chose to live life feeling side in our true nature can be hidden within. It is often evident when we spend a lot of our time on things and places. We know we are living predisposed to inward when we run into a friend or acquaintance and they or we immediately start talking about the last purchases, the next purchases, the last trip and the next trip, the old house and the new house. The words used are all doing words. And there is another key word to look for as a clue to living inwards. There will be a propensity to use the word “you” when describing things. You know when you buy a new shirt? You always have to be so careful? You never get good service. This type of communication is clear evidence the person is trying to relate to the outside world by imposing “sameness”.
Sameness as a concept came to me many years ago when I was in therapy. It seemed that when I felt alone or isolated my attempt to connect was not to be open about my feelings but to actually converse with people as if we both were having the same experience. It was an amazing way to further isolate myself. I would talk “as if” and they would not challenge me and then I would believe they were having the same experience which meant there was no hope of me escaping. Who knew it was a simple as talking about my feelings and using the first person singular my life. We are all similar and yet unique.
When we chose to live life “feelings outside” or living outwards we are in a whole new universe. This is where philosophy, beliefs, morals, values and thoughts orbit to create new solar systems of thinking. It is easy to notice when we are expressing or seeing others express in this format because it is dynamic, they are enthusiastic, we are enquiring as much as we are sharing. The key word is “I” and the question is “what about you”. We are talking about doing but also about being. This ensures two things. Firstly, that we are in fact being true and authentic to ourselves. Secondly, we are open and enquiring about others. These two elements form a gravitational pull towards authenticity for each of us. When we are real our souls we reveal.
Life is a constant exchange. If there is no exchange there is no life. Whether it is the oxygen molecules into energy in our bloodstream or ideas shared between human intersections the key to all life is not just water it is exchange. Even water can die and be devoid of life. It probably occurred in the Permian-Triassic extinction wherein 96% of all life on earth ended and yet the same amount of water remained.
We must strive, I believe, for three things. To love and be loved. To learn and to teach. To laugh and to cry. These three simple and yet meaningful approaches to life will bring us ever closer to one another and in the reflection of the other we shall see deeper into ourselves. And the key to living the life I love is to see deeper into my own self that I can share the real me with the real you. And so it is.
