No modern building could exist if we did not learn to collaborate. Hundreds of people collaborate in order to bring any modern structure off paper and into our physical reality.

Collaboration is the pinnacle of human endeavour. All the greatest achievements have been the result of people working together. It follows that the greatest achievements in our personal relationships will also come from collaboration.

I mean combining intellectual and emotional forces together to reach a common goal, when I use the word collaborate in the sense of our intimate relationships. It is working on something which strengthens the pair bond between us. Let me explain with an example.

A wonderful, easy and romantic way to collaborate is to plan a holiday together. The operative word is together. We all have specific places and ideas about our vacations. We need to work together as a couple to find the perfect combination. It means talking and planning and making sure that both parties get equal vacations. It means that each person will do new and different things from their own routine but it will be a demonstration of commitment to their partner who enjoys this activity. It is a chance to grow and learn about each other.

There are 4 key skills we need to have when we collaborate with our intimate partner. They can be summarized in the acronym OPEN. First and foremost we must be Open to collaborate. The acronym and the first quality are the same word. Open mind. Open Heart. Second, we must Plan it. Collaboration requires discussion and teamwork. Planning it together makes the experience that much richer. Third, we must Engage in it. Both people must have an active part. One person doing the planning and making decisions while the other agrees is not collaboration. Collaboration means team work and time spent together engaged in it. Finally, we must Name it as collaboration. We choose what to collaborate on and then we agree with each other that we are working together in a team to do it. Collaboration is not just a word it is a concept and to become a reality it means it exists in thought, word and deed.

So please take a moment and share with us some of your personal successes in collaborating with your intimate partner. We are all in the same game and can learn not just from coaches but also from the other players experience. Create the life you love to live.