Conflict has always and will always continue in our society and for very good reason. Difference of opinion is what builds a more cohesive society as we learn healthy and positive ways to both understand and resolve conflict. The same is true in our personal and intimate relationships.
Conflict happens. When it happens it is important that we realize it and acknowledge it. Having a difference of opinion does not mean we become indifferent to each other. Just because we do not agree with the viewpoint or choices of another does not mean we should shut down communication. In fact it is communication which eventually resolves all conflict. No matter what form the conflict takes in the end dialogue and agreement are what is required to solve it. This is even more important in our most intimate relationships.
When conflict happens there are three simple steps to undertake for success; stop, listen and agree. The first step is to not escalate the conflict further. It is evident. You can see it, feel it and know it to be. Name it as a conflict and stop the escalation of it.
Listening requires action. Hearing is not listening. Listening involves an open mind and open heart. Listen for what is similar to your own perspective. Demonstrate you are listening using encouragers such as nodding your head or emitting encouraging sounds. Your job is to demonstrate that you are hearing the person. Listening is not agreeing. But if you do not or cannot listen to another then they will not be able to hear you either and so you may as well talk to the wall. Be the first to demonstrate active listening skills. If you want to be heard then listen and show how it is done.
Finally in step three we look for places to agree rather than supporting a position of disagreement. It is easy to maintain a particular position. It demonstrates love when you create an atmosphere of agreement. Forget the positions and agree upon how to resolve conflict.
So remember that in the end it is resolving conflict that really matters. What you set in motion builds momentum and with good conflict resolution skills you will surely live the life you love to live.
