How we communicate about love is important to establishing a foundation in our relationships. And when I talk about communicating I am not really talking about how we touch the body, I am referring to how we touch the heart of another.

I have made a promise to my husband. I have said that I will not “step upon his heart”. What this means is that I must be careful in my communications. Part of my demonstration of love is to ensure that my words are used to heal not hinder our relationship. It is a very important part of my communication with him. It means I must be self-aware about my communication.

Self-awareness is both liberating and a responsibility. It is liberating because in fact I am no longer on auto-pilot. I understand how I feel, why I feel it and when I feel it. I am in fact aware. This is not always an automatic blessing, in fact for many of us it can take some time to learn but it is always worth our efforts.

So once I have established my self-awareness the next part of my communication must heal not hinder. Healing words are uplifting and encouraging. They tell him that I do not just love him but I really like him. Loving is not enough. Communication requires we like, trust and respect each other. Respecting the difference is as important as listening in order to foster good communication. Is my husband identical to me? No. Do I agree with everything he says? Certainly not. But I listen to everything he says and I tell him what I think and feel about it. I do not have to agree but equally I do not have to disparage either. A smile can just as easily be included in a disagreement.

So it is that simple. It is not difficult to understand what to do in being a good a communicator. The challenge comes from doing it repeatedly. So take a moment to review your personal commitment to communication and perhaps take some time to outline or explain it to others whom you love. Then you can be lovingly supported on your journey to be the best communicator you can be. It has worked for me and I am sure it can work for you as well. Create the life you love.