There are no mistakes. There are only choices. Once made sometimes we learn very quickly that the outcome is not what we desired. Thus it becomes an opportunity for a new choice. That does not make it a mistake, it makes it an opportunity for change.
Please do not distract yourself by labelling my writing. Do not get caught up in thinking this is “semantics” for I am speaking of an important spiritual principle that can have an major effect on your life. If you concentrate on the mistakes you make you will make the mistakes again. Whatever we concentrate on we give life too. The challenge in life is not getting stuck in the choices we make.
Choice is required, judgement is not. So let’s get down to brass tacks (who made up that saying anyway?). Do I like every decision I have ever made? No, of course I do not. Do I spend a lot of time beating myself up for the choices I have made by labelling them as mistakes and myself as mistaken for making them? No, I spend almost no time doing that. It is counter productive to me making a new choice and will undermine my ability to make right choices for myself. Depending on the extent to which I “beat up myself” I can create some very negative consequences like addiction (alcohol, sex, drugs, money, whatever you choose). Everything we do creates something so be careful what you create.
So what do I need to do when I find a “mistake”. I treat it the same as when I am typing and discover I have pressed a letter that does not fit into the word. I pause, delete and replace it. So simple. This is what I am suggesting each of us can do when we discover something “out of place” in our life. Pause, delete, replace.
It is necessary for me to pause because I need to go within to discover what I was trying to do or connect with when I made the choice in the first place. I am going to use the example of Pete. Pete was someone I trusted and connected with who turned out to be on a tangential path while appearing to follow mine. I did not know. I was surprised. I got hurt. But the important thing is to reconnect with what I was doing. I was giving out loving energy to another. I was enjoying sharing with another. These are the important connections I needed to remember. Although I was hurt it was a very brief affair and so recovery was very swift and the matter soon decided without Brad being derided. This is important. Do not deride yourself and further I would suggest you do not deride another (that which I do to others I also do to myself).
The deleting part can be more complex. We do not delete relationships for example from our memories. We must seek out and delete what is necessary for us to move on. In the above example I had to delete mistrust. When there is a misrepresentation it can create negative energy where we then repel the very thing we may need or want. It is important to forgive. It is never important to forget. Forgetting or the impact of memories, will always fade in time. So make sure you delete what is negative and might hold you back from making a good choice.
Finally we replace. I do not mean susbstitute. The difference is profound. We need to uncover, discover and choose what is right for us. In my particular circumstance I went from betrayal to betrothal. Wow. Now that is a jump. It would not have been possible if I did not do my work (pause and delete) and create my choices. We can tell always tell when we are “on choice” because in fact we do not ever have feelings of “stuck”. You cannot ever be stuck when you are “on choice”.
I have really enjoyed writing about this today. I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Please comment or share with myself and other readers what is your experience around pause, delete, replace in your own life. Wisdom is a shared experience and I would love to share in yours as well.