If a building requires steel to make its skeleton then asking is required to build the blueprint of a happy life. You see we receive what we believe. Paradoxically the interesting thing about what we believe is often we have to receive it first. So we need to receive to believe to receive. And so goes the cycle of life. A weave within a weave.

The interesting thing is that the more we discover about others the more we in fact discover about ourselves. One of the reasons we seek friendship and build families is that we learn about ourselves through our own reflection in others.  We are drawn to understand others more deeply because ultimately we are trying to answer the mystery of ourselves.

The easiest way to feel alone in a room is to be self absorbed. The easiest way to feel at home in a room is to ask others to share their thoughts, feelings and life with us. When others talk to us we naturally feel important, because they have chosen to share their story with us. When we are doing the talking we may be creating self-importance thinking others are interested when in fact they are only being polite. The answer always lies within but our guide is often another. We learn when we listen.

So when it occurs to us that there are some really big questions unanswered in our own lives we need to try asking them to others. Not because they have our answers, for clearly they do not. they only have their own answers. First we will be surprised at how easy it is for others to respond to our thoughtful questions and there is the distinct possibility that we will discover some of our answers as other people uncover their answers to our questions. There is only pool of wisdom and we are all swimming in it.

We are all in the same family. We are part of the human family. The questions we each have are the same questions humanity has been asking itself for eons. We are never alone because others have come before us and others will follow after us. We are together because we all share a common set of questions. Who am I? Is my life important? What are my values? Does the world need me? Do others like me? Am I worthy? So the questions we come up with for others are in fact important questions for them as well. The fact we ask them shows we are interested and care about them and this encourages them to give authentic answers. All we each really want are authentic and meaningful relationships with others. For most of us an important aspect to enjoying life is to have others to share it with.

But there is a second part to this equation. In order for others to give us authentic answers to our questions, so we can discover as they uncover ,we need to recognize and appreciate them as well. This integral part of the equation is the fastest way to build friendship as well. What is it that causes us to be friends with others? I would say it is support without expectation or judgement. Our friends remain with us through thick and thin. Our family does as well but that is often a given. Our friends do it because they choose to do it not because we are related. It is a relationship of choice.

So the next time we are thinking “there are a lot of unanswered questions here”, we can reach out and ask someone. The happiness we create will not just be our own. The people we ask will have the chance to share and we will have a chance to care. How could we not create more happiness in the world if we ask others to share and then demonstrate that we care? So reach out and show someone you care today by asking them to share. The answers you receive may in fact be your own.