The best things in life are free. To be free we need to have calm in our lives. When we are calm we are gentle with ourselves and others. Everything I think, say and do is always a reflection of me, never of another.

When I find myself the most aggravated by others is when I realize I am the most aggravated with myself. No one can place greater expectations upon us than ourselves. And if we cannot or do not lot live up to those expectations we cannot easily escape. Without a path of escape, panic and fear can set up residence. When panic and fear are present what appears to be calm can in fact just be frozen.

The easiest way for us to let go of our expectations (it is good to start with ourselves but sometimes it is easier to start with what we expect of others) is to allow our expectations to raise to the surface of our consciousness. A good way to do this is to ask “what do I want”. When the answer to the question appears in the form of “get my life in order”, “stop being lazy” or “stop procrastinating” or other such statements which are harsh and judgmental then we know we are trapped in our own expectations. It is time to set ourselves free.

I release and I let go often through meditation, sometimes with classical music. This is the approach I take when I need to relax my own expectations and allow gentle Brad to return into my life. Inside each of us there is a kind, gentle version of ourselves. It is evident often when we interact with children. We smile more. We encourage. We listen. We have fun. Remember that inside of us lives an inner child and he or she needs that same kind of love and support. We are our own caregiver.

So today, if you find yourself being harsh or unkind to yourself or another, know that it is just an expectation and that you have the ability to overcome them. First accept the forgive then relive the moment in a kinder, gentler way. Then take some time for yourself and bring more gentleness into your life and then you will find it will be easier to carry it through moment to moment. And so it is.