If into every life a little rain must fall then part of it will be a torrential downpour of conflict.

My definition of resolution is:  the art of creating harmony from conflict. It is a given that there will be conflict in each relationship between any two people.

The surprise, to me, is never that there is conflict. The surprise is that so many people are either afraid of it or seem ill equipped to handle it. Conflict is a normal and natural part of all human interactions. We think, therefore we will create a difference of opinion. The difference is not the conflict, the difference occurs when we do not accept the other point of view.

It is not important that we judge the other point of view but it is very important that we understand totally our own point of view. Is it something we have chosen or merely something we have accepted.

All of our values should be ours and in order for this to be so we need to have chosen them. That means that we have questioned ourselves for all of our beliefs and have accepted them as our own. If we find ourselves angry or frustrated at anothers value or choices chances are it is because we are unsure of our own, unless there is a direct attack against us.

When we are confident in our choices and our values then we are able to explain them fully and are content with them .When we get tongue tied or we are not lucid in our explanations it is becuase we do not understand ourselves and are frustrated. The appropriate choice at this juncture is to go within and “tell the truth to ourselves about ourselves”.

So the next time you find yourself defensive in a conflict, question whether or not it is internal conflict and not about the other. Whenever our defenses are up it is always a good time for us to let them down and let ourselves in to the inner sanctuary. If we cannot be safe within ourselves then we will never be safe with another and we will surely create more conflict than we can handle. It is a clever mechanism to keep us from our own truth.