Rules of engagement…

Today I had an interesting situation in a conversation. I was talking with someone about their dinner plans. They were cooking. I asked what they were serving and it sounded delicious. I asked if I could have the recipe for one of the menu items and then something surprising happened.

The answer was a conditional “yes”. The rules of engagement were explained thusly. You must agree to the following:

  • you can never serve it back to me
  • you cannot comment on how easy it is to make if I serve it to you in the future
  • you cannot compare yours to mine, nor tell me how you have improved upon it

I laughed. At the time I thought it was funny but afterwards when I thought of it I saw the truth of it and knew there was nothing funny at all. It was fear that made these “rules of engagement” and I thought to myself I wonder what “rules of engagement” I  have made in my own life, as a result of my own fears? And then something even more fearsome occurred to me. If I have them, do I know them? If I know them can I face them? If I face them can I change them?

The answer is, of course, yes. First of all I have faith that I can, and secondly I have been given the greatest gift of all. I have opened and accepted the gift of choice. I can choose to look at my issues. I can choose to face them regardless of the fact I fear them. And I can ask from those around me, who love and support me, for the support I need to face myself, a sometimes daunting task. I am sure there are others out there who have noticed the most intimidating person in our lives can in fact be ourselves.

Tonight is a beautiful night. I am home alone enjoying a night in although originally I had three invitations for a night out. Tonight I chose to relax and be at home with thoughts of my husband. And now, feeling safe, instead of turning back to the television I think I will read a book and see what “rules of engagement” may come to visit. After all, I invited them, the least I can do is wait patiently for their arrival. And when they do, I will make a mental note to share with you what I learned. After all, I am just one man doing his best to live the live I love to live.



My vision is a world where conflict is communicated and used to stimulate personal freedom and expression for all mankind. My mandate is to reduce conflict using love as my primary tool. My life's work is to learn and then share my learning with others. I am supported by a wonderful loving husband named Pedro, a loving family and many friends. I derive income from helping my clients build and protect their wealth as a financial planner and occasionally from spiritual fitness coaching and speaking engagements. 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *