Today I had an interesting situation in a conversation. I was talking with someone about their dinner plans. They were cooking. I asked what they were serving and it sounded delicious. I asked if I could have the recipe for one of the menu items and then something surprising happened.

The answer was a conditional “yes”. The rules of engagement were explained thusly. You must agree to the following:

• you can never serve it back to me
• you cannot comment on how easy it is to make if I serve it to you in the future
• you cannot compare yours to mine, nor tell me how you have improved upon it

I laughed. At the time I thought it was funny but afterwards when I thought of it I saw the truth of it and knew there was nothing funny at all. It was fear that made these “rules of engagement” and I thought to myself I wonder what “rules of engagement” I  have made in my own life, as a result of my own fears? And then something even more fearsome occurred to me. If I have them, do I know them? If I know them can I face them? If I face them can I change them?

The answer is, of course, yes. First of all I have faith that I can, and secondly I have been given the greatest gift of all. I have opened and accepted the gift of choice. I can choose to look at my issues. I can choose to face them regardless of the fact I fear them. And I can ask from those around me, who love and support me, for the support I need to face myself, a sometimes daunting task. I am sure there are others out there who have noticed the most intimidating person in our lives can in fact be ourselves.

Tonight is a beautiful night. I am home alone enjoying a night in although originally I had three invitations for a night out. Tonight I chose to relax and be at home with thoughts of my husband. And now, feeling safe, instead of turning back to the television I think I will read a book and see what “rules of engagement” may come to visit. After all, I invited them, the least I can do is wait patiently for their arrival. And when they do, I will make a mental note to share with you what I learned. After all, I am just one man doing his best to live the live I love to live.