Lately I have been around the proverbial mulberry bush with a matter concerning a very dear friend of mine. The issue is that it is difficult to ascribe intentions to individual members of his family and the result is their behaviour is at least perplexing and at most vile. So in keeping with my philosophy of “everyone is always doing their best” I decided to put it to the litmus test in a real world situation.
The matter itself is not important, well it is of course but not for the purpose of this discussion and I would not want the family to feel attacked as this is an investigation to uncover the truth. The issue under discussion is our choices, when we make them, how we communicate them and how others receive them. So let’s break it down.
In any given situation we have a myriad of choices. Our choice is not our first reaction, clearly that is our first reaction…smile. But often our reaction can become our choice and what can be so disappointing is the fact that our reaction often stems from the first or deepest of our insecurities. Is that how we want to be known to the world? As a reflection of our insecurities? I know that is not what I want and so over the years I have learned that my reaction is best left in the ears of my closest confidants and often in the telling I can even begin to laugh at myself. So my first choice is actually that I do not choose to broadcast my reaction.
The second choice that I have is to think about it until such time as I am clear. Now I am not talking about waiting or procrastinating or avoiding. I am talking about actual time devoted to thinking and understanding what I want to do, how I want to act in any given situation. Often it is faster to arrive at this understanding when I dialogue with my inner circle of confidants, the people who know me and will reflect back to me when and if I do not tell myself the truth of myself. The truth is never difficult. The truth never takes a long time to arrive. Delays are caused by my unwillingness to accept the truth. Confusion is caused to distract me from accepting the truth. The truth is simple and evident.
The third choice I have is to own it. I always strive to be authentically myself. To be myself is the highest compliment I can give to another. I show them who I am and have no agenda. I am transparent and I own it. I am not embarrassed by my choices but nor am I boastful. I am clear and I share in a loving and kind way so others know who I am and what I stand for. We do not have any control over how people receive anything but we do have control over how we broadcast.
So in truth I would say it is never a matter of good or bad, be it people or intentions. It is a matter of consciously choosing to radiate the truth of ourselves and only after careful reflection should we be broadcasting anything to the world at large. I believe if we make these type of authentic and conscious choices we cannot help but to create a life we love to live.