This tulip has no problem showing up as a tulip. It did not have to choose between being a rose or a daffodil. It knew from the start it was a tulip and it remains a tulip now. Each strand of DNA works in harmony to ensure the various parts of the tulip are developed and maintained. The same is true when we make a commitment in our relationships.
Only we can choose our mates. Regardless of where or when we met or whether it was arranged for us or we arranged it ourselves we are the focal point of our commitments. Commitment is not a statement, commitment is a continuing series of actions each and every day.
I believe it is important we first understand our commitment, then articulate it and then examine if we are meeting it. Commitment is a process not an event.
It is important to be open and honest about our commitments because we are the most important judge of our character and we cannot and will not escape what we say. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Who you are is wonderful. What you want is what you want. You do not need to be embarrassed or to hide from it. Embrace it and declare it. To do anything less is to devalue yourself and others with whom you do not share your authentic self.
If we are not meeting our commitments then there is a reason. The reason is always apparent but not always discovered. Let’s take an example. Let’s say we are not doing our share of housework for our family. All the time we are missing deadlines. The floor is dirty, the bathroom a mess or whatever. The reason has to be one of two things. We cannot do the tasks (we do not have the skill, talent or ability). We do not want to do the tasks (we have the skill but do not make the time). There is no such reason as “not enough time”. You live on earth. You get 24 hours each day. It is a known fact and has been true for millenia. Now there can be variations such as “we want others to do the task”, etc but there are only two base reasons. All of life is this simple. “Why” (the great human distractor) is never that complex but it is where we often dwell the longest trying to make it more than its simple truth. Allow the truth to reveal itself. To thine own self be true.
So the only requirement left then is to tell others our truth. For example, I do not want to do the task. Now this may mean you may lose rank, privilege or esteem in your relationship but that does not change your reason nor your desire. First know yourself and then tell others. Be true to those with whom you seek the truth. Lead by example.
So there you have it, the simple truth behind commitment. Know what you want. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Keep on doing it. Keep on examining it. Change as required. Declare when you change it and truly you will build the life you love to live.