One of the most important pursuits of humankind is in fact love. “Love is a many splendored thing” as the line goes in a famous song. Love is like a building although sometimes romantic love may feel more like a house of cards.
The reason I see love as a building is that there are many aspects to it. Sometimes it displays incredible creativity in design, sometimes mistakes are made, it is both impacted by, and causes impact to, its’ environment, plans can go awry or be absolutely perfect, and finally, we are the architects creating and the engineers building our love lives. The other fitting part of this particular analogy is that we can love many people in many different ways, just like there can be many rooms or floors within a building. Also a building requires maintenance and so does our love.
Perhaps somewhat paradoxically if we experience issues in attracting the love we want in our lives (and I am not solely talking about romantic love) we need to start within and work our way to the surface before we will change the outcomes. We must be clear about what is love and what in fact is not. Love is not angry, love is not difficult, love is not blind, love is not fleeting. Love is stable, open, honest, loyal, freeing.
The most basic question we each need answer for ourselves is do we in fact love ourselves? While it would seem a prerequisite of living that we love ourselves I believe we may harbor any number of self-doubts or even self-deprecating beliefs. In fact, I would suggest that it is commonplace. These doubts or deprecating thoughts will undermine our love for ourself and in turn will cause us to doubt or deprecate others which in turn causes distance and consequently we become starved for love.
There is good news! Remember, we are the architects and not only that but we have the talent, skills and abilities to re-engineer our own house as well and I am going to prove it to you. Start with the premise of what I believe is true for each of us. We are lovable.
Think about this for a moment. There is one universal truth and it forms the very foundation of us. We are lovable. I am lovable. You are lovable. Now from this foundation go forth and build the love of your life, first for yourself and then for all others you encounter. If you have questions then ask yourself or for that matter ask here using comments. After all any question you can ask has an answer and all we have to do is open our hearts and minds to hear it. All of our answers are waiting for us to receive them. I believe and therefore I receive. And so it is.